by Amy
When my son was five, his kindergarten teacher planned a
beautiful graduation ceremony, where each child stood up and told the assembled
parents what they wanted to be when they grew up. Standing with his classmates
in the school gym, my son suddenly realized he did not like being in front of a
crowd, no sir, he did not! As his turn to speak drew near, he
retreated—first by pulling his shirt collar above his face. Then by turning his back to the audience. When he finally crawled
under his chair, bottom facing the audience, we rescued him to the playground.
Fear. We’ve all felt it. On more than one occasion I
myself have wanted to crawl under a chair, butt facing the planning and zoning
commission. And I was nearly paralyzed with fear when I took my son, alone, for
a week vacation to a remote village in Mexico where I barely spoke the
language. Fear can be good—reminding us to be careful—but it can also be
crippling. It can even affect our writing.
It keeps us from joining a critique group, from attending
conferences, from submitting to agents or editors. It might even keep us from ever putting pen to paper in the first place. So how do we deal with it?
"...when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.” --Rosa Parks
Mrs. Parks was right. It seems awfully simplistic, but I’ve found that setting
clear goals for my writing is the best thing for staving off fear. Every step we take in our
lives involves a decision. Decisions are hard and the longer we fret over them,
the more painful and scary they become.
Decisions = Fear
My dad used to say, “You don’t want to have one foot on the
boat and one foot on the dock.” After years of standing blank-faced in front of
him, imagining some poor soul spread-eagled over a lake, I realized what that
means. The worst thing you can do with a decision is not make it. Get in the
boat. Or stay on the dock. Either choice will most likely be fine, so long as
you pour one-hundred percent of your energy into it. Just make the decision.
Don’t wait too long. Don’t look back.
So when it comes to your writing, decide what you want
and plot a course.:
-If you're just trying your hand at a book, write it. If it doesn't turn out like you'd hoped, you
don’t have to show anyone.
-Does it simply give you pleasure to write stories, maybe to share with your kids or grandkids?
Great—you don’t have to chase publication for that, and don’t
let anyone tell you otherwise.
-If you’d like to be published, there are ways to pursue that. Read, study, hone your craft, write, revise, submit,
repeat. Those are the steps. They’re
laid out for us. We don't have to figure them out; we just have to follow them. And following directions isn't scary at all.
Sure, there might be some niggles
of fear when our cursor hovers over that ‘send’ button, launching our first
submittal to Dream Agent Extraordinaire. I still get them…over four million
‘sends’ later. But that’s okay.
The beautiful thing about fear is that overcoming it helps
us grow. Sometimes we realize what scared us isn’t so scary after all. My son
is now an aspiring Improv actor who’s been on stage in front of
hundreds of people. Other times, overcoming fear helps us expand our comfort zone--or at least, define it. I probably won’t take my son to another isolated area alone, but I’d definitely consider Europe. Oh, heck yes I would! Who wants to
go with us? Don't be afraid!
"Because fear kills everything," Mo had once told her. "Your mind, your heart, your imagination."--Cornelia Funke, Inkheart
Be brave, Monkeys!
