Turbo Monkey Tales is a group blog focusing on the craft, production, marketing and consumption of Children's Literature. We are illustrators, writers, animators and media mongrels. We are readers! We are published, unpublished and self-published; agented and searching, and 100% dedicated to our Kid Lit journey, no matter where we are on the path. Join our Tribe and grab a vine. The more the merrier!

Monday, August 20, 2012

A Love Thing: Married to the Writing Life


Our Craig Lew recently threw out the question, “What do you know about writing now that you didn’t two years ago?” 

Deep Thought
Two years ago, I think I saw more of the DATING aspects of writing. I had “put myself out there” and lucked upon critique partners who could see past the morning breath of one another’s first drafts to the inner beauty, and I was elated (a laughable understatement) to have just signed with an agent whose heart went pitter-pat for the same things mine did. Ah, bliss. Days of “this is what I have waited my whole life for” ensued.


Pick me?
So, at a Nevada SCBWI conference in Virginia City when Cheryl Klein, Executive Editor with Arthur A. Levine Books and author of Second Sight: An Editor’s Talks on Writing, Revising, and Publishing Books for Children and Young Adults, likened the process of submitting to editors to dating, I totally got it. She explained that the editor and the writer both want to make that “love match,” though the path to achieving that connection can be a painful one.  I got that, too. I mean, sometimes I picture The Bachelor but with contracts instead of roses. Flash to the editor already clinking glasses with a bevy of other enticing manuscripts while some writer’s ego blubbers in the limousine home...

Now where was I? Oh, yes. At points on the road to being published writers, we yearn for Mr. or Mrs. Right moments—the elation of “Yes! You! This! Now!”
No wonder it’s imbued with the same trepidation, vulnerability, excitement, hopefulness, and emotion that dating has.

But now I see the another side of being a writer. The MARRIED part.  How so?  Well...


One Day
1)      It’s not about the wedding. A ceremony does not a marriage make, just like a contract does not make a writer. Both are awfully nice, no doubt, but the real deal is in the every day. It’s unloading the dishwasher, paying the bills, and cleaning the toilets. It’s sitting down in the chair and working through plot holes, unfolding characters, and finding ways to say the hard stuff.
Many Days

      That’s not to say the everyday  of marriage isn’t pretty cool. The everyday brings giggly dancing with toddlers in the kitchen, reassuring hugs, and the joy of surprise. Writers (and people in long-term relationships) know first-hand how characters they thought they knew can be pretty surprising.


Hang on! This one's a doozy!

2)      It’s normal to have ups and downs. An advantage of being hitched for a fairly long time is the awareness that every hiccup doesn't mean "Run for the hills!" Dry spells and rejections that were “this close” can make a writer stare crazy-eyed at those hills, sure, but time and having some experience with how bliss and, well, not bliss cycle--it gives perspective. Most days. Sharing the ups and downs with people who get it and have been there (other writers) makes perspective that much more achievable.


Writing Community + Food = Good
3)      It's important to lean on each other in the tough times. On one of the most difficult days I’ve known, I asked my husband to wake me from a nap at 6, so I could be back to the hospital by 7. It was the smell of food that woke me up. My husband stood next to the bed with a plate. It’s never been too big a deal that he’s a carnivore and I’m a vegetarian, but I tease him for how he feigns utter incompetence when it comes to whipping up anything vegetarian in the kitchen. So what a surprise to see a plate of crispy chickenless nuggets in a perfect orange sauce. Even more surprising--the nuggets were arranged in a heart around some potatoes. It probably sounds dorky, but that particular gesture on that particular night from that particular man--it kept me going.  It's the same with favorite lines from the books that inspired me to write in the first place.  And when it comes to the toughest times of being a writer,  the support of a community of writing friends can mean the difference between giving up and going on. The give and take of encouraging one another past the challenges that naturally come with pursuing dreams that mean so much to us—it's food for the soul.
Tracy Clark and Emma Dryden talk story

For better or worse, this writing life is a love thing--whether it's the rush of finding "the one" or the day to day routines that make the stories happen. 

Here's wishing you and your art many happy, productive years together!







25 comments:

  1. Love it! I know I'm still in that gooey dating stage and I am milking it for all it's worth!

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  2. Yes, Joanna! Enjoy every, every second! I'm sure you'll have lots of high points to enjoy, and I'm so glad I'll get to live them vicariously through you. :)

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  3. Oh Julie, I so know what you're saying. I've been at that 'giving up' point. And it was my writer tribe who talked me back, kicked my monkeybutt and told me to GET A GRIP! I'm so glad they did. I love to write and while there are days when I can't face the computer or would like to strangle my protagonist, I know they won't last. Thanks for putting into words how I feel about this crazy journey.

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    1. I feel exactly the same way. Everyone needs a writer tribe (and to know that it's okay if some days it really feels like WORK). Knowing you, with your unforgettable characters and stories, have those days--that's the perspective I need to keep going. :)

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  4. I am tingling all over Julie! Such a lovely, funny, insightful work of art. The pictures have me laughing and your words have me crying. You are such an amazing writer. I am so happy to call you my Turbo Monkey writer friend. Lovely, lovely, lovely.

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    1. Right back at you, Craig! I can't look at your work or have a converstation with you without feeling inspired. Thanks for the kind words!

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  5. Girl,I SO feel you! This past year has been akin to being engaged and then dumped at the alter, TWICE! But dang it if I don't keep strapping on the FMP's and stubbornly moving forward. Let me tell you this; since the first time I read your writing, you made me FEEL. That is my bar... a writer has to have the power to engage my heart and you got the power, love. Never give up!

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    1. Your talent and your persistence are both forces to be reckoned with. So hoping you are on the honeymoon of a lifetime soon! :) It's inevitable!

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  6. This is lovely, Julie. I believe you and writing are "attached at the hip". That story that wants to be told will never give you peace until you set it free. And you will, because engaging words and Julie go together!

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    1. Thanks so much, Ellen! It's the best sharing a tribe with you!

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  7. Love you, Julie, and your insights. So so RIGHT. now ... I guess I'd better pay attention to my "better half"
    write
    write
    write

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    1. Heidi! You were the impetus to my joining in on the writing adventure--your essays and books (and just you). I hope the pressure of being a role model adds to your attentiveness to your work. :) Hugs!

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  8. Love this post, Julie! And the fact that I'm now picturing all of my critique buddies wearing bridesmaid dresses…

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    1. sigh...always the bridesmaid, never the bride...

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    2. Thanks, KCH! Here's hoping the next SCBWI LA party theme allows for us to rock some bridesmaid gear! :)

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    3. KC Held, can my dress be purple? With some puffy 80s sleeves?

      Julianne, this is an inspiring post--will keep me writing during ups AND downs.

      -Beth Hull

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    4. Amy, I insist that you be both! I'm afraid I'm not bridal material yet, I seem to be experiencing an extremely long engagement with my current WIP. :)
      Julie, monkey bridesmaids?

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    5. Beth, I'm thinking puce. But yes on the puffy sleeves!

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  9. Julie, this is a wonderful analogy about writing, and your voice flows through it as naturally as water from a spring. You're an inspiration in so many ways!

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  10. Thank you, dear Marilyn! You must know that many of those favorite lines I spoke of are ones from your drafts! :)

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  11. Wow, Julie. Such a wonderful way of putting this. And as someone who gets to read your work regularly, I'm selfishly glad you've chosen a writing life.

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  12. Julie, I never really thought of it this way before so thanks for thinking it up and expressing it so succinctly and with such style! I am SOOOO married to my writing. Can't imagine separating.

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  13. Yes! Perfect description Julie. I'm "in love" with it! :)

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  14. Thank you, Sarah, Linda, and Shannon! I'm glad to be sharing the love affair with you!

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